"Compassion is the radicalism of our time." Dalai Lama XIV
It was inevitable I guess.
It is very difficult for me to write this without judgment. And judgment is something I try very hard to banish from my heart and my mind.
Do I need to clarify 'judgment'? Judgment means "my way is best". Most righteous. Most honest. The most True. Judgment separates us from others, and "separateness" is not something I'm interested in.
Some people say that we have to do certain things to show our love.
We must keep our children confined if we love them.
We must force them to do right, for they surely won't choose it themselves.
We must hold back from giving them too much. (And after not sharing freely ourselves, demand that our children do so. ???)
They must be taught where their place is in the hierarchy.... well below ourselves.
In this face of 'love', I wish I could convey that mine is a very different experience of love.
I don't confine my children much at all, yet here they are close to me, safe and happy.
I don't force them to do 'right', yet they conduct themselves honestly and lovingly. (Well... sometimes their idea of momentary fun might be annoyingly torturous to another, but they quickly get reminded of the rights of others.)
Sharing with them? Oh, there's a delicious one. I have so much goodliness and abundance in my life that I want these same blessings to be appreciated and experienced by my babes as well.
This love that flows through and from me doesn't ever feel 'tough'.
It doesn't feel like 'I must beat it out of her'. (Whether that be a spouse, a friend, or a child.)
It doesn't feel demanding.
It doesn't feel circumstantial.
It doesn't feel indignantly 'Right', bullying, coercive, shaming, bossy, or manipulative.
"It is my pleasure that my children are free and happy, and unrestrained by parental tyranny.
Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to its parents." ~Abraham Lincoln
Instead it feels like working, loving, and learning how to live joyfully within yourself and within the circle of family.
It feels like knowing your thoughts and wishes will always be important.
It behaves with honest and open actions and honest words because there is honest communication.
The love I experience is big and beautiful and joyful. It's accepting, liberating, and empowering.
It feels good.
So it is difficult for me to not view my own experience as superior, or preferred.
Because if a life is so filled and flowing with wonder, immeasurable joy, compassion, respect... how can I not think that is infinitely better than something that is closefisted, rigid, fearful.... and is not at all like what I experience?
My world is so incredibly big and loving!
I guess this is why so many of us show up on these story pages. We want to share, for various reasons, "this is what I do", "this is what I think about it", and "this is how it's turning out".
Personally, I just want to shout from the rooftops "Imagine the biggest, brightest, shiniest, and most glorious, and go into and come from there! That's where the Joy is! Don't you want it?!?"
I can't imagine anything better than loving these babes as joyfully as I do.
They are my enchanters.
They are my beloveds.
They are my inspiration, my teachers, my joy, and my dearest little Friends.
So if I leave off judgment, I can still say with certainty (and with no superior smugness or righteousness) that this way of loving is a pretty fine one. It feels big. It tastes creampuff sweet and feels as solid and reliable as a mountain. It looks as beautiful as still water and goes on as vastly as the nighttime sky.
And I shall continue on, unabashedly. Holding to these ideals fiercely, and loving softly.
Being in Love.