Tuesday, June 28, 2011

awesome, awesome me

There's a universal law that says we reap what we sow.
If we believe we live in a friendly, loving world, then we experience life (in all its magnificence) in a friendly, loving world.
If we truly don't judge others, then we don't feel others are judging us.
If we spend our days spreading around Joy, then Joy is what we'll find in our environments.

I've been thinking about this, and how it relates to motherhood.
It's broadly accepted that mothers often feel so unappreciated.
It occurred to me the other day that if that were so, then maybe a fine and quick way to fix that would be for mothers to show -demonstrate- how fantastically awesome they are.
It's a sort of version of saying "Yes!" which is a totally joyful and marvelous thing to do... but I think it goes beyond that, and into our own Selves a bit.
I mean--if we're feeling like our children aren't completely in love with us, and aren't noticing how awesome we are... why not convince them?
We have nothing but resentment to lose, and only delight in our relationship to gain.

If we dissect it a bit (and are not living our lives consciously this way already) then we might realize the last time we courted our children for any real length of time was when they were in the womb. We were never cross with them, and didn't scowl... we had nothing but sweet words and smiles and soft pettings for them... they were literally quite close to our hearts, and we had nothing but love to share with them.

Now we might offer them our harried expressions, terse corrections, sighs of irritation... who can blame them for not smiling with elation at such a one?

So instead I suggest that it goes a fantastically long way toward feeling beloved if we act as a beloved.

If we let our eyes light up when a babe comes into the room.
If we respond with gladness.
If we're playful.

We can offer an idea to walk to the corner for an icecream cone. (Even if we have some in the freezer.)
We can say, "Hey... how about cupcakes?" With sprinkles.
We can ask, "What would you like to do today?"
We can watch them play a video game for at least a half hour... and marvel (and comment!) at how brilliant and fantastic they are at it.
We can show them our best tricks-- be it a supersize bubble (after walking to the store just for a pack of bubblegum, of course), smooth roller-skating moves, two cartwheels in a row, or no-hands while riding a bicycle.

We can cook their favorite dinner, jump on the trampoline, do cannonballs into the pool (even if it's in public), play tag, draw tattoos on ourselves, sleep outside in the backyard, have cake and icecream for breakfast, show them how to make daisy chains, rent them a game they've been wanting to check out, spend five hours at the park, fill fifty-thousand water balloons for them, splash in puddles, show them an amazing science demo, line up a fantastic pattern of dominoes (and let them knock it over), build a tall, tall tower (and let them knock it over), take them to the movie drive-in, have an extended dress-up tea party, let them paint your toenails any color they like, throw a party just because, make a super-cool obstacle course, show them how well you can (or can't!) hula hoop, run through the sprinklers, be joyful! and Listen.


Instead of the usual stuff that some feel is the mark of a good mother - hurrying everyone to make sure appointments are made on time, keeping faces (and hands and feet and clothes) clean, doing six hours of housework (and fussing or grumbling when interrupted or deterred), correcting behaviors and words and actions every two minutes -none of which is impressive or joyful or imaginative or awesome to your children- why not intentionally set out to charm and beguile them?

I can say with absolute surety that purposefully being a friend, supporter, and playmate (however they and we like to play) to our child can only aid us in a lighter being.

If we act with love, there will be Love.
If we act with joy, there will be Joy.
If we act with Awesomeness-- our children will delight in our Awesomeness.

That can only better how we feel about our Self, and how we feel about our world.


  1. *LOVE* this Stephanie!! You are an inspiration <3

  2. hehehehe brilliant! Love it.

    And exactly what I needed to read after a trying day where I have seemed to, and probably have done nothing but nag the boy. He's driven me a little crazy and I'm sure I've done the same to him.

    So depsite me just telling him that I didn't want to go for bike ride this evening cos my knees are sooooooo painful, I shall stagger this creaky old frame of mine onto my bike.. and reclaim "Awesome" ;-)

  3. i have read a couple posts in the last month from bloggers claiming permission and a right to be emotional and angry at their children, as it's honest and real. I am all for honesty, but I have a hard time believing that it begins with anger. It doesn't. Anger comes from a succession of misreads, neglected emotions, and disconnects from self and from the children. I agree it shouldn't be stuffed, but if it explodes, something was missed.

    Joy comes from paying attention to detail, to the tone in our voices, to the way we use our words.
    This is why I love this post sooo much. It spells out how to find joy so beautifully.

    "If we act with love, there will be Love.
    If we act with joy, there will be Joy.
    If we act with Awesomeness-- our children will delight in our Awesomeness."

    xx oo

  4. Stephanie, this is wonderful. I completely utterly absolutely all-the-way-through-ly agree!!!

    We live with a lot of joy, love and playfulness here, and what I give does come back to me in gifts a hundred times over. My kids often say I'm just a kid, my husband says I'm a "kid with adult powers." Sometimes I forget I'm a grown-up, in the best possible way.

    Ah, to play and listen and love and give to your children with your whole heart, as often as you can, as big as you have! There isn't anything better.

    Yes, to you and your words! Yes to living and acting with love, joy and awesomeness! Thank you so much, for your own particular and glorious awesomeness, Stephanie :)

  5. Another one to print out and add to my journal...love these thoughtful posts.

  6. Lynn - thank you so much. Again. :)

    Joxy - "reclaim awesome". !! Love that. :)

    MJ - agreed. I believe that we're absolutely allowed to be real with our children - it's a serious relationship, after all, not something that is shallow or temporary.
    As you so beautifully said, with anger, there is usually something else - most of the time things that I missed, and am trying to blame someone else for. :( oof.

    Helena - "kid with adult powers". That's perfect!! :)

    Kelly - thank you!! ♥

  7. yes. and thank you for sharing your awesomeness here on this blog, too. this is a very inspiring post!
    xx Nikole

  8. Loved this! I will re read often. Sometimes it can be hard in this world, but if you only send out love....

  9. Stephanie- thank you for your blog. I have been reading for a while now (maybe a year?) and every time I read one of your posts, I feel myself becoming a better mama. This week has been huge for me in regards to living joyfully. I actually played with my daughter for the first time in a long time. And it felt awesome. I said yes a number of times when my first thought was "no". Amazingly enough, I have seen less attitude from my kiddo this week then I have in a long time. Amazing how that works out :)
    So again, thanks for your awesome blog!

  10. Oh and I love the idea of printing stuff like this out to add to my new art journal obsession, thanks for the idea kelly!

  11. Thank you so much, Tina. There could not be any higher compliment or thought than that.

  12. Love this! Such true words to remember on all days. I know our rhythm is much better when we all live with these guiding principles. Thanks yet again.

  13. Thank you Stephanie I truly needed that.

  14. exactly. why not, right? why would we treat strangers politely and our own flesh and blood impatiently. why not show them that you love them more than the stars in the sky ... every day. every moment. have fun. live life. say yes. why not?

  15. "If we act with love, there will be Love.
    If we act with joy, there will be Joy.
    If we act with Awesomeness-- our children will delight in our Awesomeness."
    So simple, so perfect.
    An awesome post!


Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!