There's a universal law that says we reap what we sow.
If we believe we live in a friendly, loving world, then we experience life (in all its magnificence) in a friendly, loving world.
If we truly don't judge others, then we don't feel others are judging us.
If we spend our days spreading around Joy, then Joy is what we'll find in our environments.
I've been thinking about this, and how it relates to motherhood.
It's broadly accepted that mothers often feel so unappreciated.
It occurred to me the other day that if that were so, then maybe a fine and quick way to fix that would be for mothers to show -demonstrate- how fantastically awesome they are.
It's a sort of version of saying "Yes!" which is a totally joyful and marvelous thing to do... but I think it goes beyond that, and into our own Selves a bit.
I mean--if we're feeling like our children aren't completely in love with us, and aren't noticing how awesome we are... why not convince them?
We have nothing but resentment to lose, and only delight in our relationship to gain.
If we dissect it a bit (and are not living our lives consciously this way already) then we might realize the last time we courted our children for any real length of time was when they were in the womb. We were never cross with them, and didn't scowl... we had nothing but sweet words and smiles and soft pettings for them... they were literally quite close to our hearts, and we had nothing but love to share with them.
Now we might offer them our harried expressions, terse corrections, sighs of irritation... who can blame them for not smiling with elation at such a one?
So instead I suggest that it goes a fantastically long way toward feeling beloved if we act as a beloved.
If we let our eyes light up when a babe comes into the room.
If we respond with gladness.
If we're playful.
We can offer an idea to walk to the corner for an icecream cone. (Even if we have some in the freezer.)
We can say, "Hey... how about cupcakes?" With sprinkles.
We can ask, "What would you like to do today?"
We can watch them play a video game for at least a half hour... and marvel (and comment!) at how brilliant and fantastic they are at it.
We can show them our best tricks-- be it a supersize bubble (after walking to the store just for a pack of bubblegum, of course), smooth roller-skating moves, two cartwheels in a row, or no-hands while riding a bicycle.
We can cook their favorite dinner, jump on the trampoline, do cannonballs into the pool (even if it's in public), play tag, draw tattoos on ourselves, sleep outside in the backyard, have cake and icecream for breakfast, show them how to make daisy chains, rent them a game they've been wanting to check out, spend five hours at the park, fill fifty-thousand water balloons for them, splash in puddles, show them an amazing science demo, line up a fantastic pattern of dominoes (and let them knock it over), build a tall, tall tower (and let them knock it over), take them to the movie drive-in, have an extended dress-up tea party, let them paint your toenails any color they like, throw a party just because, make a super-cool obstacle course, show them how well you can (or can't!) hula hoop, run through the sprinklers, be joyful! and Listen.
Instead of the usual stuff that some feel is the mark of a good mother - hurrying everyone to make sure appointments are made on time, keeping faces (and hands and feet and clothes) clean, doing six hours of housework (and fussing or grumbling when interrupted or deterred), correcting behaviors and words and actions every two minutes -none of which is impressive or joyful or imaginative or awesome to your children- why not intentionally set out to charm and beguile them?
I can say with absolute surety that purposefully being a friend, supporter, and playmate (however they and we like to play) to our child can only aid us in a lighter being.
If we act with love, there will be Love.
If we act with joy, there will be Joy.
If we act with Awesomeness-- our children will delight in our Awesomeness.
That can only better how we feel about our Self, and how we feel about our world.