harmony means so many different things to me.
it means matching up the inner and the outer.
warming essential oils in pots - clary sage for creativity, orange for happiness, bergamot for joy, geranium for acceptance of others, peppermint for energy...
it means educating my children according to my spiritual and philosophical beliefs. (in freedom, in ever-expansiveness, in beauty, in love.)
harmony means knowing the sub-levels (behind, under, and in between) are not hiding anything. facing the fear, and cleaning out the grime - in every deep, dark corner. and the not-so-deep too, of course.
it means making sure things stay lively. that is - alive and interesting. no depressing funks allowed.
it means pondering the real intention (soul-work, you know), and matching up my mind and thoughts and environment accordingly.
this is what this word/intention is about for me. matching up. authenticity. resonation.
a couple of days ago i had a moment that jolted me into realizing that i was blaming. of course, this immediately shifted to blaming myself - why do i do that!? why aren't i behaving cheerfully and with joy!? i'm happy! i'm content! i'm not stressed about anything (well... excepting my very messy house...) my life is truly wonderful, i'm not freaking out about anything, just paid off some bills.... what!?! what is wrong with me??
' course, i realized i was still blaming, and that now i was just blaming myself.
after some consideration, i am supposing that i got to the bottom of it.
i am a why? kind of girl.
pretty much my whole life is based on why.
i do and say and behave and think according to why - and damned near 100% of that is because it's according to how i feel (i navigate life through feelings - emotion, intuition, empathy, perception...).
hurt my foot. why? because i was carrying laundry piled high in my arms and i tripped over that stool. why? because Madd left it there after i asked her to take it back to her room. aah. you see how it works. embarrassing, isn't it? truly, it is.
this. This is what it comes down to.
here's the thing - most of the time before it gets to this point there is a little tiny spark of a thought that says "move that" as I pass by.
or if my camera strap is dangling somewhere, i'll notice it and sweep it back up on the shelf so that a roaring dinosaur passing by waving its arms and swishing its tail won't swoop my camera off the bookshelf, sending it flying and then slamming into the washing machine.
but these thoughts don't come all the way to the surface. they don't have a voice. they only give a teeny, tiny spark, waaay back in my mind. and if my mind is too cluttered (with the thousand other things) then i just don't have the time or inclination for one more.
and that's when those things happen.
so really i get mad at myself, but it all happens so fast and so irritation (or anger, sometimes) comes out as "Maddie! I asked you to move that stool!" in a complaining voice, when what i really mean is "God, i'm overwhelmed."
and so five or ten or thirty seconds later i'm loving Maddie and saying "i'm so sorry for snapping at you..."
harmony, my friends.
harmony is a focus that puts these things to right.
harmony also means being kind to myself and allowing for the possibility that it isn't because i am not happy that i am not bubbling with cheer, but rather because it is february, and nearing the end of winter. i might should acknowledge that my lack of cheerfulness and light-heartedness might have something to do with clouds and cold and snow and rain and browns and grays for months, now.
not an excuse-- not saying i'm not responsible.
i'm just saying that the other day (God, a lifetime ago!) when i had my doors open, letting the sunshine in, i hadn't realized until that moment that i had not truly drawn a breath in months. utterly euphoric, i was.
and it's been over a week and i'm so desperate for that sort of cleansing and rejuvenation that i ache with it.
realized this a couple of days ago. :)
put Cheerful on my mission list. it's very important to me to be a happy and joyful mama for my children.
how to switch tracks to cheerful?
match the environment with the intentions.
bring the outer surroundings in harmony with - in vibration with - love and good cheer.
make a cheerful potion.
sparklify the house.
paint with cheerful colors.
read cheery poems and stories.
look at the weather calendar for next month and know that average temperatures are 50 degrees!! :)
along these same lines, i also know to the depths of my soul that seeking and acknowledging joyful things goes a loooong way toward changing one's perspective and experiences.
so good cheer is my focus, and good cheer is what I shall be capturing and appreciating.
so if you come visiting, prepare to see lots of pictures of springtime colors and shining, sparkly spaces and streaming sunlight.
it's soul work.