"....Far too many individuals choose to be anonymous members of the pack. [They are] Therefore suffering from the inner remorse that makes them feel like failures. Filled with conflict, and resentment, wondering what the meaning of life really is....." Dr. Wayne Dyer
This is how I started my day, today. Not bad. :)
Of course I had to apply it to my outburst yesterday, and ask myself if this is why I felt (have been feeling lately) the need to claim for myself the title (pretty esteemed, in my book, though I realize that certainly isn't a terribly popular opinion) of Unschoolers?
Might be, too, that it's something that I truly believe in, and want to re-member myself with the ideals.
Unschooling to me isn't just about the educational system. It's about my spiritual philosophies, too - having a mind that is open to everything, and attached to nothing. Being what I imagine to be God-like. Loving. Embracing. Accepting. Willing.
Ahem. Sorry 'bout that.
I'll get on to our day today.
(Yes, it's related, I'm not just spouting.)
We had grand plans today!
Grandma was making a fourty minute drive north to go with us to see a children's dance theatre program (Ring Around the Rose at RDT for the locals) to see African Drums.
Not only a worthy and noble cause, but hopefully a fine, engaging program.
Trev last night said something like, "Look, Mom... you said I could choose, and I choose not to go."
I, in turn, said something like, "I don't remember saying it was okay for you not to come...."
"It's my decision."
It's one of those times, friends.
Most of you don't read my Mama's blog, so you don't realize that I hash things and process things and quite often have conversations with myself at such times.
In times such as this, I need to think.
Why do I wish him to come with us?
Of course, I tell myself it's for his sake, but do I mean For His Sake as in "this is what we do... we're homeschoolers... we do things like this in the name of Education and Culture?" (because that doesn't taste very good.)
What is my real reason for wanting him to come?
"Here's the thing, Bud... I really think you'll have a great time."
"It's just listening to drums, right?"
"Well, yeah, it's drums.... but it's made really fun for kids. It's a stomping and dancing sort of thing."
There was probably a bored, blank stare, here.
"I'd really like you to come, and if you don't like it, I won't ask again."
I didn't think we had really resolved anything, and I wasn't yet sure what my position was going to be this morning (that was last night).
So this morning I got Maddie and I ready, and had Trev's clothes ready, and woke him up ten minutes before Grandma was due to be here.
"Bud... it's time to wake up."
"Oh, hi, Mom."
"It's time to wake up and get ready to go. Your clothes are in the livingroom."
He got right up and started getting dressed.
Grandma came, Daddy cut up an apple for breakfast - we had a date for a sit-down breakfast after the performance - and we were off.
Yes, I was a little surprised that it went quite this way.
We arrived early, as we had not gotten tickets, yet, and were concerned about a sell-out.
When we were allowed into the theater, a few minutes later, we still had quite a long wait before the performance began. You know how that goes. It wasn't horrid, however. Considering it was noisy and irritating for my Little Son who said (er - a bit loudly) a couple of times "Why won't these people just Be Quiet!" It was really noisy. And we sat there for at least fifteen minutes.
But eventually it started.
With a beautiful song. And drums.
"What do you think, Bud?" I asked Trev, who was snuggled against me, and had been in my arms since we sat down in the theatre.
You know it. Wanted to cry, I did.
It was all going to be okay, then.
Which is, truly, friends, why I wanted him to come.
Because I thought maybe it was going to be a magical experience, and I don't like to live magical experiences without my children. Because my babes are my sidekicks and best friends. Because when the Love and the bestest stuff happens, I want them with me. Because when I'm happy, I look to them to see if they're sharing in my happiness. Because Life is Beautiful, and I want them to know that truth, too.
That's why I wanted him to come. (Though I didn't have the words to voice those thoughts last night.)
After the first song, the Leader introduced his dancer and his fellow drummer,
and told us about the Project that he and his wife had started for West Africa.
And then he said that they would be inviting everyone (God love them for inviting everyone, and not just a select few) up onto the stage to perform and play.
Maddie for the next five minutes kept asking about that. "When are we going Up... On... The... Stage!?!" lol.
"As soon as we're invited," I said.
I was sure that Trev was heading for the drums, djembes (JEM-bays) they're called.
Okay, after a few lovely and lively songs and dances, and talks about the soul of the music and finding the beat.
"Who wants to Dance?"
Maddie piped right up. She did.
And left with the dance teacher, wondering if I was coming with her.
"I wanna dance."
"You wanna dance?"
"Yeah." said Little Son.
"You want to dance, and not drum?" I just wanted to be clear, lest he was disappointed later that he didna get to drum....
"Yup. I wanna be a Dancer."
So we did.
We learned that taking pictures was quite alright with them, by the way.
Right up at the front, those two were, most of the time.
In the first few seconds, Trev turned my way, and gave me a thumbs-up.
Oh, heart be still.
They practiced and learned for about twenty minutes this tribal dance.
And it was a fun and beautiful thing to see.
Quite proud and flushed, were my two babies.
And then it was time to go back into the theatre - via the stage door, of course, and dance, dance, dance.
. . . . .
We came back to get Daddy, and went to breakfast at a favorite spot.
And then walked over to the bookstore, and did some window shopping.
Pretty soon, Grandma left us, and shortly thereafter we headed back to our neighborhood.
Up the street we went, though, to the luxe toystore to see if they had any of those games that I listed yesterday.
Bought one that my friend Julie told me about, and also Subtrax.
'Be telling you about those tomorrow.
The rest of the evening (and it was evening by this time) was spent going over the days photos, I, Carly, the Flintstones, and whatever else will be.
Life is Fine
and just as it should be, I think.
Prob'ly we'll see you tomorrow.